
Disclaimer: This article is a lighthearted piece written for entertainment purposes. Please do not assume it is an indictment against men.
Hey! Hi! How ya doing? I think we need to chat. You read the title and clicked. You already know what this is regarding.
I know what some of you are thinking. You’re getting all puffed up, your typing fingers ready to slam out some unoriginal comment about how I’m “just salty because no man wants me” since I am a fat woman. That’s your go-to every time a woman you’ve deemed “too big” opens her mouth to respond.
My dude, I have been married since 2017. That is why I am writing this: since I’m not single, you can’t try to claim I’m just some bitter hag nobody likes. Nope — I’m a married bitter hag that nobody likes, except this one dude who married me.
This isn’t about me. This is about you.
You want the world to know — loud and clear — that you would never, ever, ever, ever, EVER consider dating these fat chicks! Don’t even think about suggesting such a thing! And forget the possibility of sleeping with one — you want the whole world to know your “eggplant emoji” is off-limits to big girls!
“Attention, shoppers! The single man in aisle 5 wants you all to know that he has NO INTEREST in fat women!” (Photo by Franki Chamaki on Unsplash)
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Iknow what you’re going to say next. You’re going to start bellowing about how you are “allowed to have dating preferences” and that you “won’t apologize” for having standards.
Oh, honey. What in blazes are you talking about?
I never claimed you weren’t “allowed” to have preferences or standards. For all I care, you could insist that you are only open to dating left-handed brunettes who could clear the entire room with just one fart. Seems oddly specific, but it is your liberty to desire that oddly specific type of person. And you know what? I think that is wonderful. I hope you find all the gassy, dark-haired lefties you desire!
But we both know this isn’t about “preferences.” You act as though hordes of fat women are breaking down your front door eager for a ride on the You Expressway. But let’s be honest: that’s not really happening, is it?
I don’t see any fat ladies bowing at your self-imposed throne pleading for attention, O Royal Manliness. (Photo by William Krause on Unsplash)
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Considering how fat women aren’t spamming your Inbox — thus, not creating an actual need to bring them up — let’s talk about what this is really about. As I’ve mentioned previously, fat women are not viewed as human beings. We are viewed as spectacles. We are treated like public property that can be mocked and shamed at will, regardless of the actual role we play in your existence.
You don’t make a production out of publicly rejecting all fat women because you have a “dating preference.” If this were truly about “dating preferences,” you would not need to make a big production out of it. You would simply tell a fat woman who asks you out “No” and move on with your life. No further explanation or elaboration is necessary; politely declining the invitation is sufficient.
You make a big production out of rejecting fat women to bolster your own fragile ego. You see fat women as beneath you, so by punching down, you are making yourself feel better. You feel powerful and superior by holding them in contempt.
And that, my dude, is pathetic. Secure men know how to handle mismatched interest with decorum. They do not need to punch down to feel good about themselves. They also do not need to hide behind flimsy excuses about “preferences” to justify themselves. They politely decline legitimate invites and move on with their life. No production, snark, or commentary is necessary.
You could learn from them.
Self-explanatory. (Photo by Orkun Azap on Unsplash)
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Louis Hansel on Unsplash
The post Open Letter to Men Who Loudly Refuse to Date Fat Women appeared first on The Good Men Project.